It’s a waste of time, so don’t bother

Perfectionism can lead to inaction, especially when we feel we’ve wasted time in the past. This mindset creates a paradox where the fear of making mistakes prevents any progress.

Example:

• A 23-year-old patient dropped out of college and struggled to return because he couldn’t decide on the “perfect” major, fearing any mistake would waste more time.

“He was so concerned about not making the wrong choice that he couldn’t make any choice at all.”

• How has perfectionism prevented you from taking action in your own life?
• In what ways can the fear of wasting time actually lead to more time being wasted?

Fear of Failure, Decision Paralysis, Time Management

The more time we feel we’ve wasted, the more protective we become of our remaining time, leading to increased paralysis and inaction.

Analogy:

• The Count of Monte Cristo’s banker, Danglars, becomes increasingly miserly with his remaining money after spending a large portion, illustrating how we treat our time when we feel we’ve wasted it.

“The more behind we actually fall, the more careful we are about how we spend our time.”

• How does your perception of “wasted time” affect your decision-making?
• In what areas of your life do you find yourself becoming overly cautious with your time?

Scarcity Mindset, Opportunity Cost, Risk Aversion

To move forward, we must acknowledge past mistakes, mourn lost time, and focus on the present moment.

Steps to overcome this mindset:

1. Notice the Samskar (mental impression) when it arises.
2. Mourn the past and accept that lost time cannot be regained.
3. Start living in the present, focusing on what can be done now.

“Oddly enough, are holding on to the past actually dooms our future.”

• How can you practice noticing when you’re held back by past mistakes?
• What strategies can you employ to shift your focus to the present moment?

Mindfulness, Acceptance, Personal Growth

The belief that we can compensate for past mistakes by making perfect decisions in the present often leads to paralysis and further inaction.

“It’s this idea that we have that we can sort of make up for the past by acting in the perfect way today. That actually paralyzes us and leads to inaction.”

• How has the desire to “make up for lost time” affected your decision-making?
• In what ways can accepting past mistakes liberate you to take action in the present?

Self-Forgiveness, Present-Moment Awareness, Letting Go