Self-criticism
Self-criticism involves how an individual evaluates oneself. Self-criticism in psychology is typically studied and discussed as a negative personality trait in which a person has a disrupted self-identity. The opposite of self-criticism would be someone who has a coherent, comprehensive, and generally positive self-identity. Self-criticism is often associated with major depressive disorder. Some theorists define self-criticism as a mark of a certain type of depression (introjective depression), and in general people with depression tend to be more self critical than those without depression. People with depression are typically higher on self-criticism than people without depression, and even after depressive episodes they will continue to display self-critical personalities. Much of the scientific focus on self-criticism is because of its association with depression.
Signs You are Being Too Hard On Yourself
- You give up on challenges quickly, fearing you won’t be successful.
- You ruminate on failures long after they’re over.
- Your self-talk consists of harsh criticism and generalizations.
- When situations don’t go as planned, you blame yourself.
- You keep commitments to everyone but yourself, believing you’re not as worthy as others.
Pay attention to your behaviour
It takes the intentional act of paying close attention to what’s going on inside of ourselves to challenge the negativity. Once we’re paying attention, we can take note of how we speak and treat ourselves in order to create different thought patterns and behaviors. If you’re already telling yourself you won’t succeed, you increase the risk of not succeeding. This can feed into a cycle of proving to yourself that you’re incapable.
Be positive
Create a few realistic, positive personal mantras that you can meditate on or even keep close by that can replace negative self-talk. While easier said than done, this is one of the best routes to combat self-criticism. Replace the negative with something better, something positive.
Be gentle
Try to instead acknowledge your inner critic and focus on being kind to yourself.
Understand your actions
Your behaviors don’t always reflect your character. Practice focusing on finding the difference between the two. You might have failed, but you are not a failure. Mistakes don’t define who you are!
“The tone of your self-talk is the key, There’s a difference between saying ‘That didn’t work out, I think I might be able to do that better’ versus ‘I can never get this right, I’m such a failure.’ Personal growth is defined as improving through honest reflection, realistic goal setting, and understanding that failure is part of the journey. Self-criticism is the antithesis to growth.” - Amy Cirbus, a New York-based Talkspace therapist.