Self-deception
Self-deception or self-delusion is a process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument. Self-deception involves convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception.
“Self-bullshit” refers to self-deception—the practice of lying to yourself to avoid an uncomfortable truth. It can involve ignoring reality, denying evidence, and making excuses to protect your self-image or avoid facing your flaws.
While it might temporarily shield you from difficult feelings, it can also become a damaging, habitual pattern.
Reasons for self-deception
- Protection of self-image. Deceiving yourself is often a defense mechanism to maintain a positive view of yourself. For example, a person may deny their shortcomings to preserve a feeling of competence.
- Avoidance of painful realities. Ignoring the truth can be a way to avoid dealing with difficult emotions, traumas, or life circumstances. This can happen with issues ranging from ignoring a health problem to denying infidelity in a relationship.
- Cognitive biases. Your mind naturally takes mental shortcuts that distort reality. Cognitive biases like overconfidence, confirmation bias, and the planning fallacy make it easier to ignore contradictory evidence and rationalize poor decisions.
- Fear of judgment. Wanting to be accepted by others can lead you to lie to yourself. You might pretend to enjoy something or believe a certain way to fit in, avoiding the perceived judgment of others.
- Internal conflict. The mind will try to reduce the psychological discomfort of holding conflicting beliefs (cognitive dissonance). A smoker, for example, might downplay the health risks to reduce the conflict between their behavior and their desire for good health.
How to stop self-deception Breaking the cycle of self-deception requires honesty and a willingness to face difficult truths.
- Build self-awareness. Regularly practice self-reflection and mindfulness to better understand your motivations, emotions, and thought patterns. Pay attention to moments of defensiveness or strong emotional reactions, as these can be indicators of something you are avoiding.
- Challenge your thoughts. When you notice an extreme or irrational thought, pause and question it. Ask yourself, “Is this thought really accurate?” and “What evidence do I have to support this?”.
- Consider outside perspectives. Solicit feedback from trusted friends, family, or colleagues. Being open to constructive criticism can provide valuable insight into your blind spots.
- Revisit your values. Reflect on your core values and whether your actions align with them. When your behavior contradicts what you believe is right, it can be a sign of self-deception.
- Accept your flaws. Work on self-compassion and accepting your imperfections. You will make mistakes, but responding to them with patience rather than self-criticism can help you grow.
- Seek professional help. If you find yourself repeatedly stuck in self-deceptive patterns, talking to a therapist can help you identify root causes and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
AI responses may include mistakes.
[1] https://www.psichi.org/page/183EyeSprSum14aWarr
[2] https://greggvanourek.com/self-deception/
[3] https://highdesert.help/self-deception/
[4] https://psychologyoflife1.quora.com/Why-do-we-lie-to-ourselves
[7] https://www.meaningcrisis.co/episode-1-introduction/
[11] https://www.betterup.com/blog/overcoming-self-doubt
[12] https://www.calm.com/blog/self-loathing
[13] https://orpheeway.com/re-build-yourself-or-just-to-handle-you-own-bullshit/