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Codependency

Codependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of “the giver,” sacrificing their own needs and well-being for the sake of the other, “the taker.” The bond in question doesn’t have to be romantic; it can occur just as easily between parent and child, friends, and family members.

Codependency can manifest in different ways, categorized by how individuals interact and react within the codependent relationship. Some common types include active codependents, who are often assertive and controlling, passive codependents, who are fearful and avoidant, and anorexic codependents, who have surrendered to their codependent pattern. Additionally, there are cerebral codependents, who are intellectually focused on overcoming the codependency, and oblivious codependents, who are in denial of their codependent behavior.

  • Active Codependents: Assertive, controlling, and manipulative, often trying to “fix” or control their partner’s behavior. They feel most secure when they believe they are needed and can control the situation, sometimes engaging in aggressive or confrontational behaviors. May be drawn to partners with self-destructive behaviors, as they feel validated by being the “caretaker” or “savior”.
  • Passive Codependents: Fearful of conflict, avoidant, and often have low self-esteem. They are more likely to stay in unhealthy relationships, even when dealing with abuse or manipulation, prioritizing the other person’s needs over their own. May tolerate unhealthy dynamics to avoid conflict or fear of rejection.
  • Anorexic Codependents: Have surrendered to the codependent pattern, often hitting “bottom” and feeling overwhelmed by the pain. They may no longer be able to bear the pain inflicted by their partner and may be in a state of denial or resignation. May be in a state of deep despair or have given up on changing the relationship.
  • Cerebral Codependents: Intellectual and analytical, often seeking knowledge and self-help resources to understand and overcome their codependency. Driven by a desire for understanding and change, they may seek therapy, education, or transformational experiences. May be actively working on healing from the codependent patterns.
  • Oblivious Codependents: In denial of their codependent behavior, often using the “ignorance is bliss” approach. They may avoid facing the truth of their codependency, relying on defense mechanisms to maintain a sense of comfort. May not recognize or acknowledge the unhealthy dynamics in their relationships.