Treatment - What to Do as a Parent

Frequent reminders help break through the passive non-compliance often seen in children with ADHD, reducing frustration and emotional outbursts.

• Use multiple reminders leading up to deadlines or transitions
• Example: For bedtime at 10 PM, remind at 9:30 PM, 9:45 PM, and 9:55 PM
• Helps prevent the feeling of arbitrary punishment
• Reduces likelihood of temper tantrums

“So instead, what I sort of recommend is frequent reminders. So this is the kind of thing where, like, you know, instead of telling your kid, oh, okay, like, you know, we’ve got to be ready for school in 30 minutes, and then you kind of show up 30 minutes later and your kid hasn’t done a single thing.”

“We’re not entirely sure how this works. We just know that giving kids with ADHD notice about what’s coming down the pipeline, what consequence is coming down the pipeline, and giving them multiple opportunities to for that consequence to sink in, leads to better outcomes.”

• How can parents tailor their reminder system to their child’s specific ADHD symptoms?
• What are some creative ways to implement reminders that don’t feel nagging to the child?
• How might technology be leveraged to provide consistent reminders without increasing parent burden?

Passive non-compliance, Time management for ADHD, Transition strategies

Engaging a child’s recall abilities helps ensure they’ve processed instructions and increases the likelihood of compliance.

• Ask “What did I say?” instead of “Did you hear me?”
• Use questions like “When are we leaving?” or “What do you need to have done before we leave?”
• Forces attention and helps information sink in
• Prevents autopilot responses

“So instead of asking for confirmation, which is what the instinct is for most parents, and that may work with neurotypical kids, what we want to do is, we want to govern. We want to sort of engage recall.”

“When we vocalize what we need to do, we’re sort of practicing our recall, which in turn means that we’re learning that thing.”

• How can parents gradually increase the complexity of recall questions as their child’s skills improve?
• In what ways might incorporating recall strategies into daily routines benefit the child’s overall cognitive development?
• How can parents balance the use of recall strategies with maintaining a positive, non-interrogative atmosphere?

Working memory exercises, Active listening skills, Cognitive behavioral strategies for ADHD

Creating consistent structure and habits can help overcome some ADHD-related challenges and reduce parent-child conflict.

• Develop routines for daily tasks (e.g., backpack placement, bedtime routine)
• Consistent structure reduces the need for attention and minimizes distractions
• Helps prevent high-stress situations and reactive parenting
• Supports the development of beneficial habits

“So the cool thing is that habit can sort of overcome some of the shortcomings of ADHD. So the more structured we are, the more we sort of protect ourselves against ADHD.”

“If this structure has been created, then even a child with ADHD, they don’t need attention. They don’t. There’s nothing for them to be distracted against if they develop some kind of habit.”

• How can parents identify areas in their child’s life that would benefit most from increased structure?
• What strategies can parents use to maintain consistency in routines during holidays, weekends, or other disruptions?
• How might parents involve their child in creating and adjusting routines to increase buy-in and effectiveness?

Habit formation, Environmental modifications for ADHD, Routine building strategies

Engaging a child’s intelligence and reasoning abilities can improve understanding and compliance with rules and expectations.

• Explain the “why” behind rules and expectations
• Help children understand consequences of actions
• Use their intelligence to problem-solve and plan
• Encourages critical thinking and self-regulation

“So one of the coolest things that you can actually do with a kid with ADHD is actually get them to understand, actually have conversations with them about why and this sort of this can be kind of tricky for parents, because for some of us, it may be obvious why we need to put on our shoes at 755 if we need to leave the house by eight o’clock.”

“Once your child understands that, oh, if I want a story, if I don’t want to get yelled at in the morning, if I want time to even play a little bit in the morning before going to school, then I have to wake up on time. If I want to wake up on time, I have to go to bed on time.”

• How can parents adapt their explanation style to match their child’s cognitive level and interests?
• In what ways might involving children in problem-solving family schedules or routines improve their executive functioning skills?
• How can parents balance providing explanations with maintaining necessary authority and boundaries?

Logical consequences, Problem-solving skills for ADHD, Metacognition in ADHD management

Establishing clear boundaries in advance and enforcing them consistently can reduce conflict and improve behavior management.

• Set boundaries well in advance of enforcement
• Discuss and explain boundaries when emotions are calm
• Use reminders to reinforce boundaries before enforcement is necessary
• Separate the act of setting boundaries from enforcing them

“We don’t want to enforce boundaries and set boundaries at the same time, that’s going to lead to a lot of frustration, lead to conflict and temper tantrums.”

“So if you want to impose a limit on bedtime or when, when’s the last computer game that we’re allowed to play, you don’t want to have that conversation at 10pm you want to have it at 3pm on Monday, or you want to have it at 3pm on Saturday, you want to, once again, give your child plenty of notice.”

• How can parents involve their child in the process of setting boundaries to increase buy-in?
• What strategies can parents use to remain consistent in boundary enforcement, even when it’s challenging?
• How might the approach to setting and enforcing boundaries need to evolve as the child with ADHD grows older?

Consistent parenting, Natural consequences, Collaborative rule-setting

Managing parental emotions when setting and enforcing limits can lead to more effective and consistent parenting.

• Avoid setting limits when feeling angry or frustrated
• Take time to calm down before addressing issues
• Set realistic, enforceable limits
• Maintain emotional support while enforcing structure

“So what we want to do as parents is not impose limits when we’re feeling emotional. So what this sort of means is, even if the kid is playing at 1010, and you feel pissed. You shouldn’t run right in, because it’s 10 minutes after their bedtime.”

“Take the extra five or 10 minutes to sit down outside, brew yourself a nice cup of chamomile tea. It’s 1015 you’re gonna sip your tea, you’re gonna get your own emotions in check, and then you’re gonna go up at 1020 and you’re gonna talk, have a conversation with them in sort of a calm frame of mind at 1020”

• What techniques can parents use to quickly regulate their emotions in challenging parenting moments?
• How might parents’ emotional regulation strategies serve as models for their children with ADHD?
• In what ways can parents support each other in maintaining emotional balance when parenting a child with ADHD?

Emotional regulation for parents, Mindful parenting, Stress management techniques

Prioritizing parental self-care is crucial for maintaining effective parenting strategies and breaking negative cycles.

• Recognize increased risk of parental stress and depression
• Join support groups or seek therapy
• Practice stress-reduction techniques like meditation
• Maintain personal interests and recharge time

“The tricky thing that we need to understand is that raising a child with ADHD requires a solution over there, but it also requires a solution in here. You’re going to need to take care of yourself, and that’s really, really important.”

“The more burnt out you get, the less emotional empathy you’re going to have for your child, the less emotional empathy you have for your child, the worse their ADHD is going to get.”

• How can parents create a sustainable self-care routine amidst the demands of parenting a child with ADHD?
• What role can extended family or community support play in facilitating parental self-care?
• How might improved parental self-care positively impact the entire family system, beyond just the parent-child relationship?

Parental burnout prevention, Support systems for ADHD families, Mindfulness practices for parents